literature

My World

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Sesshomaru-Miroku's avatar
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Literature Text

                                                           My World

I lie awake late at night, the numbness I feel throughout my body, and the pain in my heart overtakes everything. My mind is drifting in a dead world, a world without her. She has been the reason for my living, the reason for my happiness. This world takes more of my happiness away. She is my wife, she is my life. I'm so numb, but the pain I feel, why? Do I deserve this pain? Am I paying for the days I was no better then my father? Am I to blame for her pain? She is my world, my world of pain. She's in pain, she can't get comfortable, she cries, she tries so hard to be as strong as she always was. It hurts to see her like this. I feel her drifting away from me in my dreams, the dreams are too painful to swallow. My world may be taken away from me, I can't live without my world. I went for counciling today, a friend told me to do so, that it may help. But she is my world, my very breath. She's my wife, she's my everything. She speaks so softly, every breath she takes, takes so much effort. I hear it everytime she speaks. She's always in pain, always hurting, she's so different now, she cries so often. I feel that her pain will kill me soon. She is my everything, my very soul belongs to her. My heart beats only for her. I fear losing her. This pain consumes me, but maybe I deserve it. But why punish her for what I have done back then? Shouldn't I be the one to lose my life? I would gladly trade. She's too good to be punished. She deserves better. I always told her that, from the moment we met. She didn't believe that being with me wouldn't be good for her. I suppose this proves her wrong. My love must be a fatal poison. A poison that strikes whenever it wants, to whomever I love. I wish I wasn't immune to this poison, all I feel is the numbness. And the pain in my heart.
I wrote this just now. If you don't like it, that's ok. I just needed to vent.
© 2007 - 2024 Sesshomaru-Miroku
Comments9
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AneresMoonieon's avatar
Please keep at the counciling, I know it has to be hard but I really think it would be wise you keep going. I'm trying everything I can from where I am. Even though its been you we've talked to all this time, Sam has and always will be our friend too. We don't want you suffering and your pain is my pain as well.

If you haven't checked your YIM, please do. I don't know what can help at the moment but there is always Hope.

Remember I'm always here for you,

Your Sun Bear